


Never Have I Ever

by bandheck



Category: The Black Keys (Band)
Genre: Blowjobs, Dan and Pat hotbox the van and play gay Never Have I Ever, God im so rusty im so sorry, M/M, Set roughly in Rubber Factory era in a mythical land where they are both single, Weed, Weedy Blowjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 18:55:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8113684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandheck/pseuds/bandheck
Summary: “Never have I ever-“ Patrick’s low baritone rang out in the tiny car, Dan sat back waiting intently. “had a bowl cut”.“Oh fuck you, it didn’t look that bad!” Dan shot back with mock anger, before he took a drag of the blunt they were currently passing between them. The two blew into town a day early for once, no show to play for that night. So logically they were currently hotboxing the tour van.





	

“Never have I ever-“ Patrick’s low baritone rang out in the tiny car, Dan sat back waiting intently. “had a bowl cut”.

“Oh fuck you, it didn’t look that bad!” Dan shot back with mock anger, before he took a drag of the blunt they were currently passing between them. The two blew into town a day early for once, no show to play for that night. So logically they were currently hotboxing the tour van.

“Yeah you didn’t have to _look_ at it all day though” Pat had his seat reclined and Dan had his feet up on the dashboard, neither had anything vital going on, other than passing the time in the parking lot of a dimly lit Coburns.

“Ok never have I ever pissed in a Gatorade bottle resulting in getting pee smell all over the inside of a tour van” Dan added quickly enough for Patrick to think he had that one planned out.

“Fuck you, pass it here” Dan watched pats spider like fingers let go of the blunt and flex out ever so slightly while he inhaled, both where pleasantly fucked, heading into familiar territory. “A guy gets freaked out by a heard of gay bar santas _one_ time and he never hears the end of it” Pat exhaled laughing, making the already hazy of weed stank cloud even thicker.

Dan hums fondly while remembering the night Patrick slept in the van in attempt to protect their gear. He had been to spooked by a herd of roaming santas at like 4am to relive himself, and had to make due with a left over gatorade bottle. He was pretty sure the entire state heard his ensuing laughter once it was determined the gathering of saint nicks had been a result of a "Christmas in July" gay bar event from down the street.

Rounds passed, and Dan was definitely feeling it. He was sitting with his back against the window now, staring at pat probably a little too intently. Something about the smoke curls framing Patrick’s brown wavy hair just right was really getting to him.

“Hey its your turn” Patrick jolted him back out of his thoughts by playfully hitting his knee.

“Ok ok ok uhhh” Dan was rubbing his thighs racking his brain, what hadn’t they covered yet. A lot, probably, he thinks. What about pat doesn’t he already know from the few years they’ve been near inseparable. “Never have I ever kissed a dude” he smoothly ventures, re adjusting his seat with all the grace of a flailing baby bird. He was focused intently on being as soberish as possible for what happened next.

“Haha what the fuck” Pat said reaching for the blunt. Dans mind was everywhere all at once.

 _Holy shit holy shit wait what_ “Wait so you have kissed a dude before??” Dan had to confirm.

“That’s why I'm gonna take another hit dumbass” Dan is transfixed as pat wraps his lips around what’s left, imagining those lips on anything else was just so foreign. Pats eyelashes fluttered shut briefly just as dan realized he’d been growing hot under the collar. Probably not just from the lack of airflow.

“Wait wait I wanna go again, never have I ever done like. Sex shit with another dude” Dan blurted out before Patrick had time to let out his breath. While looking back at Dan, he expelled part of it through his nostrils, making pat look like a benevolent gay dragon. “I don’t think the game works that way” Patrick sat back with half lidded eyes, staring right back into Dans, and took another long drag.

 _Dans pretty sure he just shit his own pants._ “So is that a yes or-“

“Yes.” Patrick interrupted, watching Dan intently with a knowing look. He was smiling the tiniest amount, Dan ventured he was probably enjoying this.

“Aaa uh wait so” Dan was stuttering, he needed to know Now.

“You learn a lot of things that aren’t necessarily about art, in art school” Pat humored him with a reply.

Dan had totally forgotten about that. About how Patrick had tried that art school out of state for about a year before coming back. That had been well before his time. It had never occurred to him- t _hat pat would have ever been with other men,_ his brain whirred. He had just figured pat was straight like him. _Sort of_. He’d been feeling weird about that lately. And it definitely wasn’t weird that he was half imagining pat with his lips tight around- Dan had to stop himself there.

“So what was it, what was it like?” .5 seconds after that left his mouth Dan wanted to run out of the van into traffic. _What was it like????? He thought, what the fuck kind of question??? Lets just ask my friend what having sex with another dude was like????? Stupid piece of shit stoner brain!!!!_

“I went down on him." Pat started " _And_ I could show you.” Neither of them moved, but Dan’s heart definitely just leapt out of his body onto the parking lot asphalt.

“Uh” he swallowed “- is that an open offer?” Dan squeaked.

Patrick raised an eyebrow “ha uh yeah I guess”.

“uh yeah I guess doesn’t sound very convincing” Dan stuttered and hoped his blush wasn’t too apparent in the fog of the cabin.

“how’s this for convincing?” leaning forward, Patrick took one last drag and bridged the gap between the two front seats, immediately reaching for Dans jeans. Dan tried not to gasp when pat unzipped them, he really did. But he failed. _Badly_. So badly that Pat paused to look back up at him, eyelashes brushing the tips of his bangs. His face was wet dreams level close to Dan’s junk.

 _Fuck him, fucking model ass pretty boy_ , Dan thought will trying to nod assent without hitting Pat in the face with his newly acquired boner. Back to brass tacks, Pat pulled Dans underwear down just enough to free his dick.

Pat leaned down and took the head of it in his mouth and Dan was pretty sure he saw into another dimension. “Holy shit Christ ah pat-“ Dan had been blown in the past, quite a few times actually, but be it the weed or the little gay crush he’d been nursing, Pat was currently a strong contender causing for death by mind-blowing bj.

The sight of pats soft pink lips around his dick was enough to fuck him up. Dan tried to catalogue the picture of the wisps of smoke curling up from where Pats mouth and he met in his memory for posterity's sake. Pat was bobbing up and down taking all of it as deep as he could so well that Dan couldn’t even mind how sloppy it was. “Oh shit _ah_!” pat was tracing his tongue along the underside of his shaft, and brushing it up over the slip to lap up the starting bits of precome, and Dan was having a hard time keeping it together.

He was definitely hazily aware he was moaning, but 90% of his fried egg brain was focused on trying not to thrust too much and choke out pat with his dick. Pats fingers snuck their way around the base of Dans dick, and up into the belt loop of his jeans, pushing himself down further.

Dan had prepared for a lot of things in his life, dropping out of college, being broke, shitty jobs. But he had no been prepared for how fucking _hot_ pat looked when he hollowed out his cheeks to bring Dan into the home stretch.

“Jesus-“ Dans voice pitched higher, he was vaguely aware his hands were now curled up white knuckled in Patrick’s messy hair. Pat was lavishing his cock all of his own fucking accord, bringing his tongue to meet every inch. Swallowing Dans embarrassingly hard dick deeply as he could go was definitely the start of the end. Dan didn’t even get ample time to warn him before finishing in Pats mouth, who to his credit, took the surprise like a champ. Barely breaking pace, Pat swallowed what Dan gave him and still managed to look pretty hot sitting up despite the lower half of his face being slick with spit and cum.

Dan was so glad Patrick took a moment to shuffle around and find something to wipe himself off with, it gave him more time to pull his newly heteroflexible self together. “Never have I ever been blown by my best friend in a van while blazed as shit” Dan said breathlessly, reaching for the blunt again. Pat turned to him and laughed while waiting for the next drag.


End file.
